phosphoribosylamino-imidazole carboxylase
The beat is so satisfying.
life is an...
What is this feeling? What is hope and what is despair? Why do I feel empty? I feel something and nothing at the same time. What is this?! I stare into the abyss and the abyss stares back. Yet, I still feel emptiness. I despair more of the emptiness than the deep darkness of humanity. It feels like I have nothing to live for. Is this what they call enlightenment? You feel separate and, yet, one with the world. Enlightenment can't be this. There's something missing. A purpose? Is it something I choose for myself through trial and error? Why am I even afraid to take action? Why am I hesitant to do what needs to be done? Why am I afraid of pain non-existent? Why am I afraid of meaninglessness? Despite being in the presence of other people 24/7, I feel increasingly alone. My mind keeps wandering to the thought that my salvation might not be in this 3D world — that it resides somewhere else.
The road to wisdom? Well, it's plain and simple to express:
Err and err and err again,
but less and less and less.—Piet Hein
Bought a new calculator: Canon F-789SGA. At this point I have three calculators and that's two calculators too many. The other two were the CASIO Classwiz 991EX and 570ES Plus.
You can achieve a lot of progress when you're able to visualize the outcome. The visualization does not need to be 100% clear but at least the major steps is clear in order to have a clear direction. It's amazing what you can do in the span of a day when there's not friction on what you think needs to be done.
You truly know never know what life has lying in wait for you. One day you just have an unexpected bill of 1000, on another day people just throw you away when they finally get bored of you — friends or lover. It's frustrating. There are some people out there who believe in karma that karma comes for their adversaries even if they're passive. This is simply wrong. Think about it, what power in the world would enact retribution upon those who hold malice and seek to do evil? There is God, of course. But do not be complacent in his greatness for he has a mysterious plan of his own. Instead, retribution is served when the processes are there to make it happen. And this will not happen without effort from us into shaping the system. Karma is served by setting the course of fate in the right direction and not of wishful thinking.
Turing Test, the game: https://www.humanornot.ai/
You might have exhausted your sources of entertainment because even though the content you have access to is practically endless, like YouTube, you feel unamused. The pleasure from consuming them is not as good as before and the diminishing returns are finally rearing their ugly head and has made themselves totally apparent to you despite your utmost density.
At this point, why not pickup that book on chemistry you should be reviewing? You're bored anyway. Time to get reading on the lore and mechanics of the macroscopic world. You could then proceed to physics where there are magic floating rocks (electromagnetism), complex runes (classical mechanics, particularly fluids), etc. that go deeper into the lore.
Also having silence once in a while isn't too bad. No need to be unsettled at the idea. Think of it as refreshing your ears and mind so that you won't get bored of things too fast. You know first hand that whether it's the arts, public speaking, or other fields, strategic use of silence can be a powerful tool to bring out the best of what you can deliver.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
—Thomas Haynes Bayly (1844)
You may have an addiction, probably... Multiple? The common thread seems to be your interests and ease of doing the activity. There was anime, visual novels, manga, programming, light novels, listening to background and classical music, JRPGs. Before recent times, there was also debating and public speaking. The common intersection between all of these is that these are all activities that help you forget about your anxiety. The anxieties may have been different in different points in time but they were still things you were afraid of. You faced them nonetheless, courageously or cowardly and were able to get through them successfully or in failure.
What are you so afraid of now? Why are you afraid? Why is that your reason? Why do you feel that way? Why can you not face that issue currently? Why bother running this time since these things you will inevitably face?
Let us offer you an alternative: why not go down the rabbit hole?
- Into the madness and frenzy you do with these activities but directed towards your obstacles and anxieties?
- Into the abyss of uncertainty that is staring back at you?
- Into what you've been dreading all this time?
Rest assured, there is no good FOMO to be had. Sure, there will always be opportunity costs but the costs are practically greater when you neglect what's in front of you. You've always liked background music, right? How about these to accompany your descent into the hole?
If these are not enough variety, how about a 10-hour version of the original?
P.S. I might say that the core melody of this song is quite nice. It's simple but catchy. The staccatos at the start are nice, and at the end they ease out to a fleshed-out melody with a nice set of staircase notes that go up making you hopeful and a nice set of down notes that make you fall deeper and set you up for another flight up — only to make you hooked more (to go down even deeper into the rabbit hole or high into the clouds to lose your way).
This is peculiar... You received an email asking you to participate in a survey by a researcher from a University in the Netherlands. The domain and work email used seems legitimate. The odd thing is that it addresses you as Dr. [Actual Name]. Yet, you're not a doctor, of philosophy or medical!
The music seems like it would fit in as a BGM for a rhythm and roguelike dungeon crawler game (for example, Crypt of the NecroDancer).
You wish you had a lifetime goal or project that have you so enraptured where you could go ( ͡🔥 ͜ʖ ͡🔥) too...
You were able to attend class today for about 二 ババs! You still have to do your flashcards though...
The programmers who had to come up with the code/algorithms to create proper IUPAC names from a given molecular structure have your sympathy. And even more so the chemists who had to come up with the IUPAC nomenclature system to manage the chaos of naming organic molecules!
Her determination is inspiring.
It's pi-day! At the top of your head, here's the digits of π you can remember:
π = 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197
It really feels significantly different when you toggle between 60 Hz and 90 Hz refresh rate. The animation looks smoother one way especially in transitions.
The biggest hurdle to yourself is yourself. Particularly, your tendency to procrastinate on the things that matter the most to you is what makes your life miserable. You need to urgently address that or you will always be stunned in your growth.
You can do a lot of amazing things when you put your mind to it. You learned Python, HTML & CSS, how to publish a static website on the web, as well as create dynamic dashboards with all the accompanying DNS management and stuff. You did this by your own initiative and read lots and lots of documentation. You also did a lot of trial and error. You know you don't like hearing the word failure but it is what it is. You failed a lot by doing trial and error. So let's use that.
Life is just a series of trial and error experiments.
Take this statement to heart even if you dislike the word "failure". It's simply a case of failure management. Do you want small failures or large failures? Time to decide.
If you can't start working and are procrastinating then you just need to play Vitality by Mittsies. Read related post.
Time to go on a Hell (Death) March! This is the only way you are ever going to have a good chance at ranking in the exam.
Why is it that you cannot naturally sit at your desk and just hacking away with your problem sets. It's like there's an invisible force stopping you but it's just your psyche. So what might be the problem?
Maybe you need to change your thinking. Maybe you should be harder and stricter with yourself as someone else would be for your sake? Like a mentor or coach would be strict with someone like you that tends to think of excuses in their head to avoid doing a lot of tedium. You can, perhaps, draw inspiration from the relationship between Hinami Aoi and Tomozaki Fumiya from the light novel "Bottom-Tier Character Tomozaki".
It does seem that you are turning into a madman. You seem to be repeating the same actions at the New Tab page in your browser despite not having any intentions to go to a specific website or have a search query to do. If that does not seem to be insanity to you, then you might have already gone too far off the path. Rein yourself in. Can't you see that this is the effect of "social media" on you? Slow down for a short while. Immerse yourself in a moment of silence and notice how illogical you're acting recently.
What does it take to have you just study consistently every day in an intensive manner? It may have something to do with your current environment and how you feel suffocated in it. Perhaps you need a change of perspective once in a while.
You have a confession to make. You did a little hack of changing the system time on your computer so that you can do some reviews in Anki due yesterday in order to not break your streak. Yesterday was a Sunday but you neglected to do even a little bit of my flashcards. How careless of you...
In reflection of what you did today, you simply report that you made a simple tracker and dashboard on Excel for data you are trying to record regarding your reviews for the licensure exam.
Did you procrastinate? Perhaps. Was it worthwhile? Probably not. Regret? Probably. However, you did realize today that Microsoft Excel is the ultimate end solution for storing, processing, and analyzing data for internal use. It's widely available, practically everyone knows how to use it, and less time-consuming to set up something working than a full-on dashboard using Python or JavaScript.
To start off, we shall share here Euler's formula: $\pi \theta = \ln{ \left(\cos{\theta} + i \sin{\theta}\right) }$.
If we take the value of $\theta$ to be $\theta = \pi$, then we have the elegant Euler's identity.
You just discovered streams.place. You have always wanted a better alternative to public channels in Telegram for blogging. You searched for someway to keep a microblog and found the likes of Bearblog, status.cafe, Bluesky, etc. However, you cannot stick with them because you always seem to forget to open them. Maybe this time?