You may have an addiction, probably... Multiple? The common thread seems to be your interests and ease of doing the activity. There was anime, visual novels, manga, programming, light novels, listening to background and classical music, JRPGs. Before recent times, there was also debating and public speaking. The common intersection between all of these is that these are all activities that help you forget about your anxiety. The anxieties may have been different in different points in time but they were still things you were afraid of. You faced them nonetheless, courageously or cowardly and were able to get through them successfully or in failure.
What are you so afraid of now? Why are you afraid? Why is that your reason? Why do you feel that way? Why can you not face that issue currently? Why bother running this time since these things you will inevitably face?
Let us offer you an alternative: why not go down the rabbit hole?
- Into the madness and frenzy you do with these activities but directed towards your obstacles and anxieties?
- Into the abyss of uncertainty that is staring back at you?
- Into what you've been dreading all this time?
Rest assured, there is no good FOMO to be had. Sure, there will always be opportunity costs but the costs are practically greater when you neglect what's in front of you. You've always liked background music, right? How about these to accompany your descent into the hole?
If these are not enough variety, how about a 10-hour version of the original?
P.S. I might say that the core melody of this song is quite nice. It's simple but catchy. The staccatos at the start are nice, and at the end they ease out to a fleshed-out melody with a nice set of staircase notes that go up making you hopeful and a nice set of down notes that make you fall deeper and set you up for another flight up — only to make you hooked more (to go down even deeper into the rabbit hole or high into the clouds to lose your way).