semi-public thought log of sorts

upto a certain number, it’s okay to share earnings and shit - but beyond that i dont know

it’s like you’re feeding the evil to come bite you later lol

like you might not be meaning to flex or show off

but for the others it WILL come off like that because their horizons are that low

sharing these with some close friends is okay - im just talking about putting it out in public

idk tf does it so easily

like i get it dont believe in jinx or sm but like 💀when you know the people who’ll read this will probably be envious, why even share?

this might be an indian issue

in india people are extremely selfish and envious - society trains u like that without you realizing it

you need to actively act against it and go through a mindset change

im not going to be open about numbers until

  • i either cross my goal #
  • my circle changes from envious and ppl who get shocked to people for whom even 100k a month is nothing

more about circle

i am in soo many different circles and they’re so diverse, i have to be mindful of what i share to some

it’s only with a handful of friends where i am truly myself;
in all other places, it’s either a small part of me or i’m entirely faking another personality ( that’s just 1 rn lol )

human 1:1 connections are more important to me than “groups” and i optimize for that as well

so in some circles, i feel like i progressed a bit too fast compared to other folks in it, and to cut off and move on - that’s not easy when you have so much history together

and now the issue is, all circles read / consume whatever i put online and it fucking sucks

cuz who am i going to represent? the person they see?
it will be different for others

ideally, it should be “myself”

but i’ve hidden / given restrictive access to parts of me to these diff circles that im unsure as to how they’d react to see my “other side” of sorts

easy fix:
im just gonna be myself and if they dont like it, i cut them off 💀

cold but i dont know any other way

and sad part is, i dont think it’s going to be that they dont like it

jealousy is probably what’s going to happen

now the worst worst part is

the people who are better than me, they’ll find this extremely funny and cringe 😭

such a fake life we all live in

pretending to be someone who we actually aren’t

if u read all this - there are better things to do in life than listen to aadhithyan rant about identity loss

lol this started from me not being okay with sharing certain things to ranting about loss of identity

now some random mf is gonna find this and mention it and creep the fuck out of me 👍

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