I just really, really, strongly do not want to be emotionally vulnerable around my family. not even the level of emotionally vulnerable of being open about hiding my emotional vulnerabilities. This is happening at a level that I cannot override, if I try to force it intellectually that dissociates me from my emotions anyways. It is becoming apparent why I was in the habit to begin with.
Stream of consciousness for Mel aka hamnox. May contain higher concentrations of music lyrics than healthy.