What a day (Thanksgiving Eve, November 22nd 2023). Woke up early but lamped in bed for a bit, felt too cold to get out quick. Skipped breakfast, planned to eat pasta at school. Did some Spanish homework and a public speaking reading assignment. Drove to school a bit later than usual, around 1:20 rather than 1:00, since I had to make some coffee. Traffic was loosey-goosey, moderate speed. Arrived, spedwalked to the food court, only to find they were winding down quickly. Walked out of there, tried to clear my head, decided to go to Panera. 8 minutes walk to the store, backpack behind me, camera around my shoulder, metal bottle in my hand. Seems that store is located in a busy town square or so. Noticed just how refined the buildings and lots were. Almost felt priced out. (Almost!) Entered and looked around – how to tell the difference between looking and gawking and staring? – and then went to the self-serve iPad and poked in my order. Came out to a little over $18 on a ham and Gouda melt with extra lettuce and some onions, and then a cup of chicken noodle soup. Paid on card and settled down at a table to wait. A mom and child to the left of me, mom went to pick up her sandwiches, wide windows on the right looking out into a section of the parking lot. Slick vibes, music was nicely quiet, and a great sense of peace. But inside my social anxiety was flaring and flaring. Oy, if only I could throw water on it! Got a text message to pick it up, grabbed the bag, put it in my backpack, walked back to campus to finally sit down and dig in. Took a couple photos, had the sandwich and soup over an episode of The Golden Girls. Quite good actually, and I might go there around the end of the quarter when the food court winds down again. Will ask for extra sauce Dijon mustard to soften the bread even more. Chicken noodle soup cup was highly seasoned, a very clear taste of celery and chicken. I don’t know how many celery ribs had to go into that but it was good albeit on the saltier side – I can see why they give you another chunk of bread for free. Thinking about it now it kind of reminds me of canned, but the pasta actually had some bite to it. Wrapped up my food, headed off to the library, stayed on the first floor and checked out a blue iMac M1. Seeing another iMac in person really showed me how thin these things are. Just marvelous. Didn’t get much work done since I was mostly there to charge my laptop. Around 5:45 I headed for the ATC, sat at the lower chair and table, and then went up. Small quiet Python class on account of Thanksgiving tomorrow. We covered classes and objects. Prof. reassured us we don’t have to be an expert in classes and objects in this course. Followed along the main problem/exercise for a good 20 minutes before I tuned out, and class ended about 5 minutes later at 5:40. A bit of Twitter use today but not excessive. Guy from psychology class was there after class asking him a question, felt some real guilt about not following him up about meeting up and studying. Had this very very odd thought about kissing him. Not sure he’s my type – and of course I wouldn’t know, I haven’t talked to him much!! Walked to parking lot through the sunken garden, noticed some police and ambulance activity on the small street, shrugged it off and drove home. Drive home seemed to be calmer and quicker, probably because everyone wanted to get home for Thanksgiving. Arrived home, unwound a bit, didn’t eat dinner since I was still full from that big lunch. Dad arrived home around 8:25, I went with him to pick up my younger brother at his friend’s house 24 or so minutes away (said friend moved to that city a couple years ago, about cost of living). Dad talked to me about family issues around my cousin and her father, my oldest uncle, on the way. Drove back home, thought about Spanish and motherhood (what does it mean to act as a mother? Doting, lots of kisses, etc. etc.). At home, worked on Spanish written assignment and spent some more time on Twitter.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391