Back on my phone. Woke up early but was so tired I stayed in 20 or so minutes even when I didn’t want to. Had some kimchi oatmeal for breakfast with the leftover cabbage and egg stir-fry from yesterday night. Coffee at 12:25pm. Again, spent most of the day reading this AO3 work and not my speech. Fish and briny pickles for dinner, and some more egg stir-fry. I want to kick myself for wasting my time – time I looked forward to from yesterday – but I genuinely feel nothing, and reality still feels flat, and I want to sleep. I know I will forget most of this work tomorrow, and if I do not forget it, I will remember it at the cost of my speech. Briefly now I remember my 12th grade crunch sessions, the inevitable pain: fine, if I’m getting a low B on this, fine, I’ll take it. I’ll take the imperfect completion.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391