#STT I think the real lesson from last year that I’m really transforming this year is that I should not be averse to organization. Organization helps clear up my memory, helps me isolate things that matter from things that don’t matter. Like my desk. My desk is really cluttered right now, but I know that if I clean up even half of it I will feel a lot lighter mentally. And so I think a lot of this year, especially after I went to therapy for those couple of months, was learning to be more human, more embodied, and more in tune with organization. External organization. Because outlines – because outlines do help me think, because hierarchies do help me think, they help cut down on the clutter and they help categorize things and sure, they might be fixed and hard to change, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change and I’m a rhizome. I’m a rhizome. And I can obsolete any hierarchy I want, given enough time and energy and care and love. I’m not necessarily constrained by the systems around me, but rather liberated by the territories that I can intersect myself in. It sounds a bit grandiose and I’m not sure that I can really believe that right now, but I’m working on it. And I’m working on being more organized and being more clear with what I want to do, and what I want to say, what I want to think. And to come back to information overload: what I found was that simply structuring out the information that I wanted to write out and planning what I wanted to compress and to distill and summarize, immediately lessened the load of information overload. I did not feel any information overload, and in fact I actually felt accomplished after finishing this session. This planned session of cutting through the muck, I’d never felt that before. I never felt accomplished of finally sending off this – this assignment almost, because information overload always felt like a presence I could never beat. I could only manage and yet there I was finishing up, what, Day and Zappy? [edit note: Bluebirds and Emeralds] and I realized I had cut down so many scenes that I could – I could read this and I could understand the story and I was not bogged down by detail and I was not chasing for extra scenes. It was nice to organize and it was nice to realize that organization could be in my friend rather than a constraint.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391