re: gender: I think I was stressed about finals and not having a good source of media or a friend to ground me. (I implied it on Bluesky that I don't have many male friends, which also means few gay male friends.) During break I feel more tethered in my orientation to men, which I now feel to be firmly queer, and not really heteronormative, if it ever was or could have been. Which is in a way sad, because the cultural schema is not so elegant anymore, but in action it will be liberating, I'm sure. So I see (again) the soft features in the mirror, the rising cheeks and almond brown eyes and shaved upper lip, that of a young gay man. It's nice seeing myself as myself again. It feels like another way I've come home.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391