First Sunday breakfast in Scotts Valley today. Walked to the nearby "House of Bagels" shop, a cozy and slightly vintage place, with good prices on their bagel sandwiches and coffee. I grabbed a pastrami on everything to go and headed back to Whispering Pines Dr and made an oatmilk latte with my AeroPress. Gray weather made for cooler temps and so I was inside most of today. Prepped some veggies around 4, made dinner around 5:45. Fried up the rest of the lemon marinaded chicken and made some gai lan and oyster mushroom soup. I was a little disappointed I couldn't use the fond from the chicken because it blackened and burned too fast. I'll have to try spot deglazing next time.
A huge "background" thought was me wondering on the background what to tell Alex. If I think about him too much I think I'd start crying. Like really bad bawling. I wish we had more time and I had a better grip on my future and he didn't live 2 hours inland from the Bay Area. I wish I talked to him more during summer. I basically texted him I wasn't ready around 9 and invited him we could talk IRL if he wanted. I feel like if he just ghosts me right now I'd kind of deserve it. I guess I shouldn't blame myself too much. It's not exactly a better situation if we do get together: a few months of something intense, and then he moves away and we enter a long-distance relationship for an indeterminable time until one of us moves out. I think I'll take this immediate challenge than the long term challenge. Maybe rest a little easier tonight knowing I was loved, was desirable, was...