And I guess I should be a little more honest to myself too, here. I feel like the summer should be invigorating me but all I can think and feel and ask is, when will this time pass already? Then again earlier today I was thinking back to February and March and didn't realize they were 3, 4 months ago. They just feel like some kind of 5 or 6 weeks ago. My energy has fallen through the floor since I turned 20, not that it was particularly high in the first place, but I am so sick of my right hand now, but I am so sick of scrolling Twitter and remembering, painfully, with each account that passes up and up under that top bar, I will never personally know any of the people I follow. Amix comes close -- only person who ever DMed me consistently to ask me about me and my cogsci -- and even I don't know all that much about him. Saying "I feel isolated" doesn't feel self-pitying anymore, or cringe, or whatever post-irony postmodern postbullshit is in vogue lately. I see it like a fact, like I see the sky mature from morning to noon to evening to dusk to night. So the sun climbs up and up, but I feel as crazy as when the sun were so quiet, so thin and wiry, as it were that winter 24 weeks ago.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391