Woke up early enough but stayed in bed for 10, 12 minutes, until 8:50 or so. Went to Noah's Bagels with my brother around 9:50. We both got lox sandwiches, mine on onion bagel, his on plain bagel. I got a blueberry muffin for a side on mine. We headed around to Safeway since Seth wanted coffee and we waited in line at the inside Starbucks for like 2 or 3 minutes until he decided to get a Monster energy drink instead — I was iffy about that IMHO but whatever he'll probably outgrow it — and we checked out the cheese section and I think I got pecorino but chances are I might've misread the label and gotten parmiggiano-reggiano (still good, just not as salty, which is what you would use to 'season' things like pasta sauces). We headed back home, I ate, I had some coffee on the AeroPress, 15/250 on the dot, tasted quite smooth and mild in comparison to my pourover, brought "A Memory of the Future" and "Crush" and my water bottle of steeped black tea to work, 12:05 to 7. My mood soured quite a bit from 4 to 5:30 as I remembered my school workload but it started dissipating afterwards though I did feel tired which was much more from work than beating myself up for not doing as much schoolwork as I could've, an old and odd habit I feel I should have outgrown by now, but based on my last few posts and messages you'll find it easy to attribute that to stress. I finished reading A Memory of the Future -- reads so modern and contemporary, even down to the quieter bits, but apparently Elizabeth Spires was born in the 1950s -- and read some poems from Crush but Crush was so intense and confessional I couldn't bear to spoil it at work, or have work spoil it, so I set it aside. It seems to me that poetry may actually be what I'm looking for if I am to read more paper books, as my combination of attention span and fixation/savoring/whatever-word-you-want-here lends well to fast, layered re-reads (diction detail tone imagery syntax ... ). Stress stress stress today. So today was not better than yesterday, but I cannot claim it was worse than yesterday either, and so I will have to settle to say that today feels about the same, albeit much more active emotionally.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391