January 31 2024. Fast today. Woke up early but lamped in bed for 20 or so minutes. Skipped breakfast, packed up (but forgot my charger and headphones, as I would later find), made coffee (21/350, five pours), parents asked me about my major, dad mentioned younger brother didn't know what he wanted to do after high school, and I went to campus to study for an hour or so even with my cancelled photo class. Rained on the way. A clear glowing gray, scuttling and scattering like trails of hermit crabs on the loam of the sky. Wipers. A close call on a merge, but we made it. Studied in the library for an hour, signed into the school iMac, green on the edge of the table desk, did some history homework, somewhat cozy and focused but I was still frustrated that my laptop wasn't working. Extra weight. Wrapped up history homework, went to the dining hall. Had a burger and fries again. Sprinkling outside. Tables were a bit cold and wet but hey I need my quiet. Without my charger and my headphones I settled for a video on Derrida from the Overthinking Podcast YouTube channel instead. A few people came up to me: a young man asking me to do a survey, and a couple of young women asking me if I were interested in private Bible study. I'm proud to say that even with my somewhat negative moods these last few days, I responded quite graciously both times. Wrapped up lunch, finished my coffee, headed home, mused about my occasions of obsession in the car, arrived home with a turn and a brake and a good cleansing exhale. Unwound until 4, had a webinar about Fresno State transfers, need to call their phone to confirm my transcript is in, I don't know why they ask for a full-fat transcript but they do. Checked my Canon RP order and the lens adapter order, trying to put it out of mind. Which is funny because I spent a good hour, hour and a half, today, taking notes about what vintage lenses I wanted to buy. Eventually I had to tell myself to buy as little gear as possible, but use it to the max, and master the tools right here and right now, which is also ironic since that should apply to my half-frame obsoleter of the Canon SL1 (I even rationalized the crop sensor as a closer experience to a tiny negative, late last year!), but you know how it is with me and consumer tech. (Well, I'll pen in the details later.) After wrapping up my webinar around 4:45, I took my brother to Panda Express at his request about an hour earlier since my mom felt a bit sick and couldn't really make dinner. After we came back at 5:25, my dad came around 5 or 10 minutes later with some Costco pizza for dinner, and then took my brother to his tryouts. Dad came back around 6:10, I continued clearing out my tabs. Around 9 or 10 I played Valor but wasn't really into it because my weapons felt so weak (well, my Mechanic character feels alright) but what can you expect out of an MMORPG bullet hell game, even one forked from a theoretically simpler time in game history? Had a couple slices of cheese pizza and some seaweed salad. Plenty of junk food today. I can already feel a veggie craving coming on, though I'll push that to tomorrow.
"[Growing up] is hard and nobody understands." // https://www.homestuck.com/story/2391