Why I hesitate in applying for places:
I don’t have a job right now. Most of my friends think this is a conscious decision I made and I can start working anytime I want. This isn’t true. Every time I think of applying somewhere, I go into this self-reflection, imposter syndrome inducing mode where I think “I don’t know how databases work in depth, I can’t write Dijkstra’s algorithm in javascript, I’ve never coded in low-level before, I still don’t know what tf is garbage collection, I don’t know the OSI model, I don’t know software development patterns, I don’t know system design”. Then I come up with plans to address this issue. Here’s two of my current plans:
Plan 1: Read programming from the ground up -> Learn c programming -> Read ThinkOs book -> Build my own database in c -> Build the kilo text editor in c.
Plan 2: Learn go -> Read writing an interpreter in go -> Read writing a compiler in go
I have several other plans like this where the final task is “Build AGI before John Carmack”, and then apply for jobs. I don’t know how long I’ll be stuck in this self-inflicting hell. The funny thing is that these plans are incredibly fun. Right now I write this after having built a chrome extension and having solved a problem I’ve been stuck for 2 days in programming from the ground up and boy am I happy right now. Right now I think of “Build AGI before John Carmack” task as doable. The other sinister thing about each of these plans is that each task can give birth to multitude of other tasks.
I need someone to tell me is this the thing I should be doing right now? Cause my parents would be okay to pay my expenses as long as I like and I don’t have any other motivating forces (“proving a point to someone”, “be able to buy some expensive stuff”, “travel” etc) working in my favor. Or maybe I should set a deadline for having fun till new year, and then start applying to startups I want to work at.