I solemly swear to now ONLY live for me and my family and the people I care about I will never ever ever let a woman be a priority and give so much power to a woman ever again unless I am sure
If I had a dollar for everytime a woman used empowerment for entitlement omg I would be so rich
I had a dream today where i was on a shoot with kendrick lamar and he was like just on his phone and i told him i loved mr morale and he was like fr? i was like yea and he was like damn do u wanna talk after this and i was like yea and then uske baad we met and I told him everything I like about the album
just ate 1.5 kg of food\
Im not sad. Im complicated. Chicks dig that
My greatest magic trick is making you lose 60kgs (i am killing your boy bsf)
100 shots to brain who i am to blame
she said she is artist and i am architecture no I think i would like to live in a building built by an architecture instead of living under a canvas
like if you type like this with you stuff on different lines
back in mind im racing all the ghost and the clocks thinking about nights when we were fighting and making out all of the times you kept down and pushed me around so now i am here thinking about all the shit that i put up with all of this entitlement really got me fucked up spiritully so now i say will i find someone better than this yes i will cus i went and found me a better me a better me will get a better chick to go and get a family and life with so here i let go of all of the drama and hurt let you go andf live your life in peace or blur i loved you a lot through the peace and storm but i can kill myself and keep holding on and i hate to do this but i dont love you no more i hate to say it but we are done for forever now i am hurt but now ashamed to say i loved you and so i did and will continuing to pray for you so let me jyust come say to you if i ever can god bless you more and i hope you get a better man someone who can show you the mirrro and you might understand the demons are coming from within so you better take a stand so let me tell you my final words i loved you and i will care forever still but here we go into our lives and if it meant to be ill welcome you will my arms in the night goodbye and take for all the time i really did care and if i die before you i hope come visit my grave
idk why this has to be like this but my body is changing i am heavier i will be ripped parts if me you will never touch idk what to tell you i dont know whyt you are like this ig once its gone its never the same and I know you just dont care and you dont want me and you know what. even i dont want you now. atleast till i hit 68 kgs the moment i hit 68 kgs i will not look back just wait 4 more kgs thats all 4 more kgs, thats all
I feel so terrible omg why cant I let go so easily will have to do jt finally fuck
I am bullish on myself
never again tryng to fix something i didnt break
some women should not be given understanding but should be locked up in psych ward
at the end everything sucks and its the person who develops more love about something is the person who can stick
its about having more fun that's the cons
you find happiness anywhere that you want if you can like the people around you and you will hate the best shit If you don't like the people around you
its so scary to miss someone so much because what if all of this is just a honeymoon phase and then it goes
anyways
skibdidid poop
I wish I had a big brother who could help me through life
I am much more inclined to say that capitalism is not an economic model but a mythology recited to us again and again. It makes us believe that everything revolves around money and that wealth is money. It is important to understand that wealth is transferred with money and money is not an end goal but a medium.
oh but how will you get wealth without the medium? Well, do you think its exclusively the only medium? the only way? why do we think every substantial happiness and freedom comes from consumption rather than revocation of it?
The mythology makes us believe that wealth is only through money and we spend most of our lives to see it as the end, just to get money, just to spend the money on consumption. I have not seen a lot of 20-year-olds who get money and do not throw it away.
obviously, you can transfer your money to wealth and some do. But wouldn't you want wealth as a by-product of maximizing yourself rather than maximizing yourself to fit into a role the economy set out for you?
Would you rather mould yourself to what the economy needs and hope it aligns with your own interest or would you rather explore yourself enough and make a mold of your own?
"The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective."
also another thing to note
9-5s have their own strategic position, if you have no idea what your interests are. join a 9-5 enough to fuel you + more. but earn good. if its merely providing for you to live, its not worth it. if it pays good, cut down costs, save up, leave after 5 and use that capital and remaining time to something else, make sacrifices, mainly can be fitness and social life and entertainment
something I have learned in the last couple of days
everything sucks, doing work sucks. everything will suck. the work sucks. but there is a difference. you must not do busy work, if it sucks, ask yourself, if I am the best in the world with it, will I be proud of it. well it might be a ladder to be something better but does that seem worthwhile to you.
it does not matter if what you do sucks or not, cus work sucks for everyone, more or less. what the real thing you need to ask yourself is the work you are doing worth it to you?
now there are multiple ways for something to be worth it to you? you might like the thing it might be in 20 years when you make partner or you might like the money from it or you might like the social validation from it. all of these things are valid motivators
but I believe personally,
- I am not a good enough man to dedicate my life to something and bet that 20 years later I would still like it
- money is good, fair
- social validation is a metric that should only come after self validation
I believe and I think I have figured it out. if every work you do is hard until you get good at it and once you get good at it, the money and social validation will follow
HOWEVER, it is a trap to be good at something which you don't find broadly interesting or worth your while.
For example, imagine jake is really good with computers and reading and with a nuerodivergent personality if given the task of going through and finding a menial research or formatting a document or going through 100 books and documents to find something, with enough money and validation, the pros of the job will outweigh the cons of the job which is the menial work.
Now this menial work would be right to do only and only if the work is the field he is broadly interested in as in - he loves company law and legal regulations or secondly that he aspires and would love to be a partner someday.
but you know what is bad? if jake was actually interested in having his own company or tech or startups. now his work does not align with his interests even broadly and this is busy work, meaningful not to jake but to society
I believe the way to go about it is approximately follow your interests and go through the bad work and as you progress in following your interests broadly, one day the a big opportunity will come for you to combine your unique experiences to start something worthwhile to you which the society will benefit from, which only you could have built or built effectively.
"A few days ago I realized something surprising: the situation with time is much the same as with money. The most dangerous way to lose time is not to spend it having fun, but to spend it doing fake work. When you spend time having fun, you know you're being self-indulgent. Alarms start to go off fairly quickly. If I woke up one morning and sat down on the sofa and watched TV all day, I'd feel like something was terribly wrong. Just thinking about it makes me wince. I'd start to feel uncomfortable after sitting on a sofa watching TV for 2 hours, let alone a whole day.
And yet I've definitely had days when I might as well have sat in front of a TV all day — days at the end of which, if I asked myself what I got done that day, the answer would have been: basically, nothing. I feel bad after these days too, but nothing like as bad as I'd feel if I spent the whole day on the sofa watching TV. If I spent a whole day watching TV I'd feel like I was descending into perdition. But the same alarms don't go off on the days when I get nothing done, because I'm doing stuff that seems, superficially, like real work. Dealing with email, for example. You do it sitting at a desk. It's not fun. So it must be work.
With time, as with money, avoiding pleasure is no longer enough to protect you. It probably was enough to protect hunter-gatherers, and perhaps all pre-industrial societies. So nature and nurture combine to make us avoid self-indulgence. But the world has gotten more complicated: the most dangerous traps now are new behaviors that bypass our alarms about self-indulgence by mimicking more virtuous types. And the worst thing is, they're not even fun."
"do or do not, there is no try"
beautiful beautiful fishes forced to swim like the dead one
I could eat that girl for lunch
NLU stands for they not like us
"If your actions don’t seem to match what you believe is the internal hierarchy of your yearnings, usually it’s because you’re forgetting to think about the role your fears are playing. What looks like a determined drive for success, for example, might actually be someone running *away *from a negative self-image or trying to escape feelings like envy or under-appreciation. If your actions seem beholden to yearnings that you don’t believe you actually care that much about, you’re probably not looking closely enough at your fears."
"a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance."
"for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual."
a major shift in something that i observed in myself is that when I know someone is overlooking something or does not understand something while I do, I go like - oh maybe this person hasn't understood it by now, instead of going - you are stupid. don't attribute to stupidity which can be explained by lack of exposure
Been thinking about dispute theory and why do disputes actually happen in relationships
human commnication has to be the most messy and hard thing I have ever done in my entire life, feeling like sheldon cooper
everyday i get more and more proof that I was right about "don't date in college" advice or the "don't date law women" advice
the pianist best shit ever
just saw someone on linkedin say "it is society's responsibility to give us opportunities". man no you don't deserve shit, no one deserves anything, you get what you get and if you want it fucking work for it fucking dumb fuck
feeling very your delusions dont form my moral obligations type beat
set your heart ablaze
streams, i missed you so much. twitter is so retarded, I cannot for the love of god care enough to look at what people think about wtv I right. Its like looking at monkeys making art using their faeces. I will forever be yours.
use what you have, flip it on it's head, win no matter what, in whatever way you can, win.
I will never cope and say I am not doing my best, bitch if I was doing my best I wouldn't ever need to cope
dear baby girl im sorry that you think you are target of many devils its mostly in your brain, you are loved but you disregard it how much more powder do you need to feel loved get under my wing, you can fly without any alcohol in your blood
showing streams to arya
if misery loves company, why dont i have company?
thoughts before company law exam
best of luck to soul for US <3
will it bring you peace though
rule number 1 of life - use what you got rule number 2 - make it into what you want
gave mishit career advice and so jealous of her, only if I got this advice when I was in 12th?
the comfort men get by wearing shabby clothes should be adored as much as the comfort women get by dressing up
both you do you
showing damini streams
showing ishitrta streams
im 21 i won 20 ones of those tiny ones that you get out of supermarket with a 20 for one sign
we will never be those kids again (listening to kabira for the first time)
"dont search in the shadows for something just because life is filled w midtones for now". is such a quote. i am an ICON
I pray everyone who graduated and left this college in the last month get what they need even if that not what they want, godspeed
I am not saying I have reached nirvana but if anyone is close to it in this building, its defo me
This is the closest I have come to peace, indifference and a life-altering breakdown
stop playing with me fore I turn you into a song
there is something so carnal about gun and aircraft noise that men (me) love
spidey is real
i am a spiderman guy sorry fuck batman
"if you a bad bitch put your hands up high" is just plagiarism of "all hot girls put your hands up and say"
cap is spitin
"Human beings in a mob What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a God? What's a God to a non-believer Who don't believe in anything?"
just crazy
the hostel will never be the same
just reading the headlines so hard lmaoo
the universe is screaming at me
let the universe scream at you
the paranoia creepin up, can you take a guess peek through the corner like a swat team on a hostage case
I hate being adhd
did yall know how Europe was formed
why are skirts like that
do teddies talk
are chocolates ACTUALLY sweet
bruh
damn this is really like that
drop drop drop drop
why do women and men sound different
I love my adhd
SOMTHING IS BOTHERING IDK WHAT BUT SOMETHING IS AAAAAAAAAAAA
"flaws bless them twice and they bless you back"
"I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody One man standin' on two words, heal everybody Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge Pacify, broken pieces of me, it was all a blur Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five I still feel it weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision In the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only critic Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taking shape My mother's mother followed me for years in her afterlife Starin' at me on back of some buses, I wake up at night Loved her dearly, traded in my tears for a Range Rover Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober"
man thought he did sum
this drake shit dont sound legit
I love that part of running when my body is like “nah that its gotta stop” like no bitch AHHAHAH fuck off im not listening to you. So fun
i love myself
loving u is complicated
a MINORRRRRRR
I just know keem was in the studio and dot made this for fun but it was too funny to not drop lmaooo
NEW KENDRICK DROPPPPEDD
this is turning out to be one of my best weeks ever
I love late registration kanye
all you punks are uninspired i cant move like that I don't want to be associated
had a talk with one of my profs regarding this whole law thing. how no one around me inspires me even a bit, how everyone just sacred of not having a job is the only thing driving them and how I'm not scared so I'm not motivated.
all in all it is my fault doe, I cannot expect to be inspired by this below mediocre institution and people. if I have to do, I better find inspiration and motivation in other places. one more thing I gotta do now, shit
Like a blade of grass Apparently,
"When people are unhappy—at work or in general—they interpret events and information negatively. Bad things appear worse than they are, as if they’ll last forever. And they seem to always be happening to you no matter what you do."
the time will pass regardless
Chup hoja prnv
In this forest full of fog where i ought to be lost only if i move with sincerity and honesty to my own thoughts will the fog set down for the evening
chess is teaching me patience
ill win my first chess match soon Magnus I'm coming for you
my music taste the finest winest oldest shit in that warehouse babe
chess is humbling
I LOVE SHAKTI
chess is hot
highkey chess is fun
chess is lowkey very fun
i hope some real bad shit happens to me quick that will nicely hurt me so I can go back to da grind. women pls break my heart quick
i miss advani law LLP <3
circles only one of them few albums w no misses and all hits 10/10
dear stream
i have no idea what to make out of this life but one day I will and then all this worrying will seem stupid and I will call myself dumb
xoxo
Mac
the grass is always greener till I cut it off
gotta get my tats done. here are my tat ideas
- Rock lee
- Magikarp
- My childhood lullaby
- sugarcane bullock cart
shakti the best indo-jazz shit ever man man man man.
sometimes i try to gaslight myself into thinking, yea maybe law might be it yk its not that bad ykk ummm it has money yeahhh yes money yes, yes I would like that a lot. idts I can be in delusion much longer
have some balls bro
if anyone reads this send me a "hi handsome" in my dms?
sorry i am not cool
i aim to be that nonchalant always smiling fun goofy ass but also dark sad mysterious extremely good at his craft nice human (mac miller)
5 year anniversary w spotify <3
im bored and idc about this project
NEW JBABE NEW JBABE NEW JBABE NEW JBABE NEW JBABE woooooooooooo!!!
i finna light a comma fuck the grammer and never knew a vowel I'm known as the former circus manager, so cold you cant fathom ant killer I'm red with vengeance, if you want one come and get one
her body like the wild wild west
Aprils going by too fast!!!!!!!!
make peace with everything going south and you will appreciate it when it wont
im weirdly at peace with anything life might throw at me. get banished by my parents yea aigh get removed from college yea aight lose all my friends yea aight get cancer yea aight I seem to have no sense of ascribed value to most things above good to have its stupid to think that anything has more value than what I can give it but its also amazing that I can make peace with the worst case scenario at the same time I am a villain lmao
Everyone judges a book by its cover but noone reads the fucking book
Also that i was in the avatar the last airbender world with a bunch of heros and wr knew there was a mole and a whole among us situation thing. Then me and uncle iro figure out who the mole was cus of some stupid reason. Yay
Also bleached my hair brown
Freestyled with Kendrick Lamar in my dreams
Whats the difference between peace and indifference
But is it?
Lifes good
Love life while loving Love while living Loving living Love Live
Love life when living Love while living
Love life when living
Khushi chahiye ya chain?
Love life in the moment
i want to be 19 young dumb stupid and horny again
so much time has passed and i want it to not pass anymore
my brain is currently in my pondi hostel swimming pool
I think i can model and dig bitches and riches and those big cars thats out of my reaches and snitches would check on my ig for a couple of more digits and everytime i would get money i wont even fidget
women are getting too comfortable on hinge
suck a dick, nobody give a fuck about what you do. it doesn't matter. yeah I'm trying things. you tried it too. Now how you gon knock somebody in the world for actually trying to do something? trying. Since when has it become not cool to try? fucking loser. matter of fact, suck another dick.
im gonna do this and probably look like a fool but when did trying become not cool?
waking up early is the best shit ever
the way i got from 100% to 0% is crazy
legend of zelda ftw
so all along the mental health journey ended with me still not caring but just in a more politically correct way. lmao
money might not be able to buy happiness but I'm pretty happiness you can lease it for a long long time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUav5ObOSiY
do i think its a good video? maybe is it my best? nah does it vibe doe? yes meh meh meh idk, onto next
be sincere not cool
do more do more do more do more, think less
me editing my own video of myself staring at myself laughing at my jokes. wow
i just cannot ever for the love of god ever take anyone who looks talks sounds walks like a kid or is short seriously
If i see one more digital creative ui uz brand brund bund agency people on my instagram i will stick my head in a noose and jump off the balcony
any women named dope shit?
call dope shit kick dope shit and yell it to the world
kick dope shit and yell it to the world
Am i exhausted?
the thing about being a logic heavy person but complaining about people being emotional is the most stupid thing ever. if you are actually a logic heavy person you would be like "oh okay, so that is how it is, this cannot be changed, so I will use it" blah blah blah blah I wanna sleep
the prof is sleepy, the students are sleepy, i am sleepy wtf is this sham
* something that is hard to understand is usually misunderstood
That is hard to understand and usually misunderstood
yesterday i was thinking, why do we hate being sick. is it the feeling of being sick and exhausted, it is just a feeling, how does one categorize it worse or better than lets say happiness. is it the release of dopamine and feeling good? if that is the factor then that's a slippery slope to addiction. the most logical answer is the actual physical deterioration from being sick. leaving that aside there is no reason for pain and exhaustion to be less desirable than say happiness. The reason why I or you don't like it is because we don't experience it more often.
TLDR - objectively being sick is not bad, stop tripping, itizwhatitiz
ask for forgiveness not permission
despair must be kept private and brief
was god selfish?
note to myself - in the search of something better, make what you have better instead of searching for something better. what you have is worth something, dont search in the dark for something just because life is filled w midtones
Meaning of life is best felt when sick yay
Every big valley of despair can be overcome by the after cleaning your room
Note to myself - its not that deep just follow your interests with intensity, the world will bend
editing is so much fun ngl i like vids
i like living without social mediax
Major major changes needs to happen soon
Gimme gimme what i need then im onto the next
Im busy tripping about some shit that aint even happen yet
I move carelessly maybe thats why im always tripping
I love u mac miller
My Life would be simpler without women
How you do anything is how you do everything
Gonna seriously give up smoking this shit even once a month is not worth it brother do better
Where tf is my money 🥷
Went to this club yest and saw a bunch of rich kids pulling in their mercs and thars ngl not even jealous but ill get that
I love traveling between places the best time ever to think and be with myself i love being alone so much its crazy. I fw me the hardest
Life is worth living and shit but fuck this time to work bro
Treasure your parents.
Tresure your mother.
ambition is a gift which should not be taken for granted
everyday i realise the small way my mother made sacrifices for me and my sister and its heartbreaking only if I am a percent as a selfless I would the best human around in law school
no time is time wasted if time is always lived in the time present
i feel the. best way to enjoy any social out is to have literally zero expectations out of what will happen. best social hack ever
some situations just make me feel like an alien plunked from his planet and forced to exist in a zoo in India
sometimes i see a pattern of things in people and think what os the escape from all this judgement and constant opinion and belittling and ego work and selfishness and stuff. most of my answers to having a good friendship has come down to, have no expectations. although it works it is a bit shameful that it has to be like that. I genuinely believe I have for the most part a higher moral stance for the things that matter to me although I am not the best communicating on it. i have no idea what the topic of this is but okay
Streams.place can be the next bereal
The state of indian railways is so bad i really do not want my kids to have this
I miss twt
I am so bad at packing
should this be public or private or semiprivate said god before he made life
i read this somewhere that posting every thought not letting one idea simmer in your brain and microblogging every rotten concept your brain makes just drain you out of ideas which could have turned into something if you thought about them more or let them simmer. something to think
arc as a browser is okay but I would have loved it if it was not based on chromium. i love the UI and shit but man this shit be hungry
i should be reading more fiction and biographies and memoirs
i have this competition in pune, i do not know if I should give my everything to it cus I do not care for it but also it does not sit well w me to do something half assed
i cannot stop thinking about this one thing sam said which went something like - one thing every person comes back to me and says they should have followed it is that it is very easy to get stuck in one lifestyle, a lot of people do what they dont want to do to "make money" or be secure and then plan to do what they want to do. but it is very hard to get out of a situation and path once you start it. and once you start this thing which you thought you were going to leave, its harder to leave it making you more miserable
law school is not it
I have stepped away from twitter and instagram and now will be using streams to keep track of my thought, thank you to soul again i feel this is a good way to have things going and keeping info public and publishing without worrying about the input of other people and the dopamine shit @soul
hello
Soul
In my class bro the profs are so fucking boring i am foing to kill myself i can barely keep mu eyes opeb
this was so good, thank u soul
bro funnels are everywhere, crazy
i have a distaste for people who lust after money, i can barely get myself to listen to people like these even though they have done better than me but i dont ever want to be someone like them when i do make it big. i would rather do this to help others than buy a ferrari idk
always remember
